Love, oh love. I gotta tell you how I feel about you.

Dear beloved readers,

Well, to tell you the truth, I did the unthinkable about two days ago.

You see, there was this girl that I was having a mad crush on. Met her while she was working as an Insurance Agent, attracting customers on a busy street full of the working class. Me being naive and all, thought that she genuinely wanted to just complete a survey and get it done with. Lo and behold, we started making small talk. And I was instantly mesmerized. :)

She displayed a very bubbly personality and laughter that melted my heart. We chatted about the usual stuff, the weather and all, and I could sense the intelligence and warmth behind this lady. So against all hope I asked for her number. She gave it with a smile, I think she too thought that we had some sort of connection.

That was eight months ago.

You see, National Service really had put a dent on my free time. The only contact that we had were the messages that I would sent her through the phone. And I was a very, very, erratic messenger, mind you.

Which brings us to what I did a few days ago. You see, me, being the SUPER ULTRA scaredy-cat that I am, never got the courage to ask her out. Consulted various friends about this, and the result was a large consensus of face-palms all around. I was just THAT afraid.

One day, I just told myself to let it go and just see what happens. So I did send her a message. (After careful consultation and editing by my dear friend Jasmine who constantly berated me "to be MORE CONFIDENT!")

From the bottom of my heart, I told her that I was very mesmerized by her the very first time I saw her and was enchanted by her eyes. Then I told her that I would most probably crash and burn by asking her out for coffee to get to know her better.

You know, life is damn funny in a couple of odd ways. You work so hard to get something that you want, but sometimes, all you have to is ask. And hope and pray with all your heart.

She said yes. Yes, I would love to have coffee with you. Which, after I received the message the next morning, sent me to a state of complete bliss and serenity. Nothing anyone said or did could spoil my day.

So now, I'm planning on which would be the perfect place for the date. A few locations had already come to my mind (my dear friend Solihin smacked me in the head for thinking of Starbucks), but I'm settling for a cozy Arabian Cafe. Hope it all turns out fine. Haven't even set the date yet. Pffth. Haha.

Moral of the story kids: Just asketh, and thou shalt receiveth. Haha. :) Mama always said that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know whatcha' gonna get.

Hope it all goes well,
Lokman

Out of the fire and into the sea. Soccer outing, anyone?

Dear beloved readers,

Hey blog, how's it been? Lengthy time since I've touched you. I'm supposed to be writing again, cause my counselor says it's therapeutic for my soul? Whatever. The thing is, so much frustration, so little time, don't know where to begin. She says to just bear it all, so here I go, writing while listening to the "Ballad of Mona Lisa" by Panic! At The Disco. Kinda' like the vibe of the song. The innocent soul? The wronged? Injustice finally revealed? Ok, I'm a take a step back, getting too morbid and sad here.

Well, the thing is, I want to so much be in touch with my friends again, it all seems so very difficult with the fiasco that just happened between us a few weeks ago and I don't know how to patch things up again. Since when did planning an event get to be so stressful? I mean, all you have to do is to call up a few friends, set a location and date, and be there right? How hard is that? Well, for the people in my life, that simple request seems to take mammoth amounts of time and energy to accomplish. Some have work on that day, others can't make it, some can only make it for a while, yadda yadda yadda... The list seems to go on and on. And in my mind, the main factor I keep deducting that is keeping us apart is simple: Work.

I'm not saying that work is not important, I mean, we all gotta' be paying our own bills right, but what I really feel is that we, AS FRIENDS, really need to make it work by setting aside some of our time for each other. Eh, now I can really see that writing really is therapeutic. :)

I've identified the main villain here. So next, I gotta take steps to vanquish him away! Well, what I did in that respect was to organize a soccer event. All expense paid trip by me. Oh boy, yeah, smart idea, dumb for my wallet. Everything will be provided for (gotta' factor in the food, drinks, transportation) and all they gotta do is just show up. Simple and sweet. You see, I'm the type of guy who really likes big outings where all of my friends are together, having a good time.

Good lord, please don't let it fail on me now.


Truthfully and as always,
Lokman

P.S. Any of you guys out there from the States? Don't see a lot of Asian dudes writing like me, don't ya? :P

The New Life Of Lokman

Hi all,

Finally, I'm writing again. After countless half-baked attempts and what-not. *Sighs* Life's no longer a breeze for me. The world just passes me by, and I feel stuck. The root cause of the problem? NS (National Service). Need I say more?

The old timers say your service years will pass you by swiftly, bringing with it found memories that can only be built up by constantly being in close contact with the other person. Well readers, that, in my opinion, is a half-truth at its best, and an outright lie at its worst. When, will my time end? I feel as thought as there are invisible shackles locking up my wrists, and a very heavy burden on my shoulders. The truth of the matter is, lately, I've been feeling very depressed. For reasons that I can't elaborate on due to the NS censorship, I've been feeling very down on my luck.

God.... I look at my old entries, and I really can't believe how happy and joyful I sound. I hope there's still a glimmer left of that old me when I come out of NS. Hey, I'm so down, I cheer myself up by looking at my old entries. How pathetic can I get? :P

Well, at least I know I still got a bit of that old joker in me. I believe writing things out really helps. It's no good keeping everything balled up inside of you. You'll eat your own heart out.

Since it's the beginning of a new year, let's start things out fresh and clean. So, I'll reintroduce myself to you, my faithful readers.

Hi, my name is Lokman Hakim and I'm currently serving my National Service. I lost a lot of weight, probably around 15 - 13 kilo grammes, so I definitely don't look like the old me. (I look better, I hope. :P) I love reading and learning, especially since my NS job is so...., so very boring. I've read a lot of books and went to some courses on Human Behavior, so I'm some sort of a Profiler now. Don't get me started on what I can tell you about yourself just by looking at your shoes. I'm going to NUS studying Computing Science after this NS stint with my best buddy from polytechnic, Phyo, whom I very much respect and adore. Can't really wait for my service to finish, so that I'll be able to F**K OFF. (Avid readers, excuse the explicit language, if you know me in real life you know that I'm a person who doesn't use swear languages at all. Well, a testament to what NS will do to you. Beware boys!) I sincerely love hanging out with my friends, especially the old onces, since I don't get to be with them a lot these days. I really believe in my heart, I'm the kind of guy who'll do almost anything for a true friend, no matter the consequences. I'd like to think that everyone would know me as a super happy and jovial person, even though lately I've pretty much been otherwise. I'd like to keep up the image though.

I want to know again. To feel again. To live again. Just like I was before. I guess the whole point of me rambling on and on from the top of this entry is needly summed up in those few sentences. But, whatever it is, whatever will come, I know that time and tide wait for no man, and surely, one day, I will be set free. I will be set free. I will LIVE again.

The Ramblings Of Your Friendly Neighborhood Blogger,

Lokman

Happy Birthday, Lokman. :P

Hi all,

My fellow readers, here I am again, unable to explain to you about my enormous relapse into laziness and not posting a new entry since... well, never. I hope you can forgive me, and continue to enjoy stories from my blog. I really need to cleanse this habit of procrastination from myself, for this point of time in my life I am at a crossroads, where every move I make may determine my future forever. A lot has happened since my last post, and as god is my witness, I shall try my best to write them all down in my later entries.

Today is a special day for me. I've just celebrated my Birthday. I should be happy. But I'm freaking sad now. Sad to the core. Sad to the depths of my soul. And tired. Because, on this day, of all days, I found out about an impending dateline for my all important Major Project. And the dateline is on NEXT MONDAY, 12/01/2009. I guess some of you don't understand what the big fuss is all about. Well, this project is about the last of my subjects that i need to take, and it represents a HUGE chunk of my scores and will affect my GPA tremendously.

Imaging 3 years of hard work, all gone down the drain because of one lazy ass mistake. Me. But hey, today's my birthday. So I'm going to really try to enjoy my Chocolate Fudge Cheese Cake. Must have cost a fortune. Thanks Mom. Happy Birthday Lokman. Hang on to the ride of your life. :P

Moi Birthday Cake. :P

The Story (Prologue)

In the beginning...

Well, to begin with, the story that I'm going to tell  isn't actually quite interesting. To be frank, it's quite boring. In fact, it's so boring, the proper word that should be used on this story would be mundane. But, as luck would have it, that in this story, as also in all other stories that you have read or heard or else there wouldn't be a story, something happens, and it changes everything forever. 

How shall we begin? Well, not long ago, somewhere in the peninsular of...  Wait, wait... this is too long winded. Well let's just begin with our character shall we? Some time ago, maybe a few months ago, there was a not quite so ordinary boy. He fancied himself to be a traveller of sorts, and not having seen or heard anything out of his home or country, longed to travelled. In his heart, he yearned to experience the world. So when opportunity came, he decided to set his sights on the land down-under, Australia, without his family. He had with him a single, clear, focused purpose: to touch a kangaroo.

Now, you might think that the boy was foolish to have thought such a thing. I mean, who in the world would have heard of such a thing? Clearly this boy is not thinking clearly, or perhaps, not deeply enough? Travelling to a far away destination just for the chance to pet an animal? The others thought. But in this boy's heart, it was a lifetime dream, and once he was set on something, he would try his best to uphold it.

So the boy went. He still had to appear normal to the others, so, still under the pretense, he went working while he was there. Luckily enough for the boy, he had a good friend to travel along with him, and also to guide him along while he was there. The friend of the boy was always helpful, and also tried his best to help the boy.

And so the boy worked. And waited, for the chance, the thought deep somewhere at the back of his mind, but always, always there. The boy made many a good friends in the land down under. Some became very close to him, others were just casual friends, some were just formal acquaintances, but all we still well respected. The boy laughed. Sometimes he cried, missing his home. He did his work faithfully, and ever so subtly, found himself slowly, but surely, growing up. He enjoyed everything he experienced, and was very thankful that he made the journey.

In our story, the not quite so ordinary boy did managed to touch a kangaroo, but in the process, unwittingly put himself through the greatest journey of all: the journey of life. How did this happen? You would ask. He grew from the experience - and the experience grew with him. When it was time for the boy to return home from his journey, he wept, remembering everything that he had done.

You might think that this story is good and meaningful, or you might find it incomplete, or simply lacking a good goal or a plot. But, that's just the way the story goes. Then again, I did tell you that it was sort of mundane. But I can draw for you one conclusion, and this is just my conclusion, everyone else is entitled to their own based on what they think the story means: the next time you decide to do something, wait, no, how shall I put it, really want to do something, why not? Well, you might just be surprised where life brings you based on your decisions.